you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize