A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
