Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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