im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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