I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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