you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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