I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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