even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
