There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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