I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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