laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
