you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
