He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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