His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
