i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
