If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
