I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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