New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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