we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize