Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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