He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my liver is dry heaving
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