I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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