More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
