with your own penis?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize