YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
