some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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