so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You are a genius and a whore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
