Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
