Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
