Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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