There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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