So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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