We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
