I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
