I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
