My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I only lived at night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You pole danced in your parka.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I want is dick and wine.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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