Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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