I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
