All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
