Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
