Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize