so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
