Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sex in a hospital.. check
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
