I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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