is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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