Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
