Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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