How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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