You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
wow bdsm is so cute
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
