no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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