She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
