I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
