Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
