eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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