If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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