Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
