You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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