she was so not down for the gang bang
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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