Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
