i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize