People with herpes should wear stickers.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
