Swine flu. Run for my life!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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