Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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