Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
