My hand turned me down
it hurts more in the daytime
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize